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Busy Mom’s Survival Guide Podcast Episode 020.
How peaceful our homes are hinges on how effectively we discipline our children. There are a lot of things you can do as a mom to improve the way you discipline and help your children to respond better. But it starts with you and it takes a lot of effort.
During this podcast episode, I discuss seven P’s that I practice in my disciplining efforts.
The Seven P’s are:
- Personal
- Persistent
- Punishment fits the crime
- Preparation
- Prevention
- Practice
- Perpetual
Listener Questions:
Melissa – How do you effectively discipline your children in public? My boys made a huge scene in the grocery store today and I got loads of looks from other shoppers.
Debbie – what tips do you have when a kid who once was compliant, now fights the simplest things like brushing teeth, let alone getting school work done.
Danielle – How to handle whining when talking to the child about why they shouldn’t do whatever it is they’ve done.
Elizabeth – How to make a child who squeels/screams whether she is hurt or not and doesn’t even realize that she is doing it, how do you make her stop?
Patricia – What is the best approach when you are having a conversation with another adult and the child insists on interrupting?
Thanks for listening! Tune in next week when I talk about how to give each child one on one attention.
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What happens when another adult gives your child something you said no to?
For example: If a child wants something and has a fit…parents don’t give into the fit but then the child convinces Auntie to get it for him/her later.
Of course if the other adult was aware the parents said no, the first step would be to have a discussion with the other adult.
Would you confiscate the item (even if it’s just a small thing)? Is that always the appropriate answer? Is there a difference in punishment depending on age?
Also, what would you do if not only the child gets the item but makes a point of flaunting it in front of the parents pretty much in a ‘haha I got it anyhow’ kind of manner (yes, this happened)?
In this instance specifically, I’m talking about a toddler-aged child. Old enough to know better or too young to really understand?
Not my kid but it really made me wonder what I would do in that situation and I was a bit concerned when I realized I really didn’t know.
Oh and another question…what do you do with a kid who has ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome? For example, if you buy your kid a brand new doll and as you’re walking out of the store she sees another kid with the exact same doll except it has different colored hair. Now all of a sudden her new doll is worthless and now the only doll worth having is the other girl’s doll.
I’d really appreciate any advice. I don’t have kids but seeing these behaviors in other kids makes me realize I want to be prepared…
Good ideas you shared! Wish I’d thought of the “interrupting” idea myself, when I had a child at home. Being an “only” not interrupting was hard for her, as her dad and I thought everything she had to say (as a toddler) was worth stopping and listening too. Bad habit we taught her there!
Sherry – that made me laugh. I think so much of parenting is undoing the things that we didn’t realize we were doing. LOL
PJ
I love this. Pete and I have really started making the “punishment” fit the crime. One son bothered me when I was working. I work from home, was on a conference call and he was BANGING on my door. Repeatedly. He knows this is not ok. He is seven. So, instead of taking away his Wii privilege, we took away his “playing in the basement” priviledge. My office is in the basement. We trusted him alone in the basement and he broke that trust. So, we took that option away for 5 days. It just makes sense. Thanks!
I LOVE it!! What a great consequence – good for you!!
PJ
I answered this comment a month ago, but it doesn’t look like my response ever got posted! Sorry about that.
For me, a lot of that would depend on the age of the child and the time period that was covered. Assuming the child was old enough to understand that they were being manipulative, that item would be taken away. Whether or not it was given back would depend on the reason that we said no to the item in the first place.
As for the flaunting it, that is an attitude issue and needs to be dealt with it as a separate issue to the item. The main goal is to discipline the child’s “heart” and that takes a while. Some toddlers will understand and some won’t, it depends on the individual.
As for the grass is always greener, that is a contentment issue and is really important and much easier if you start them young. We’ve just never given the children everything they wanted even if we could afford to give it to them. It’s a heart issue and needs to be started young and MODELED for them. Do you always need the latest gadget? Are you happy with what you have or do you need bigger and better? Most times, that attitude in a child is because the family is living it.
Biggest thing to remember is to train them right when they’re young because to unteach something is very difficult.
PJ