When I was a teenager, I remember somebody telling me that many people quit right before they are about to succeed. I was told that if you could just hang on (and outlast everyone else), success was almost always guaranteed. I recently came across this sentiment again in the book “Platform” by Michael Hyatt.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea that if you just hang on and don’t quit, you are likely to succeed. I do believe that there is a lot of wisdom in that concept, but I also believe that there is a fallacy there that we need to be aware of.
As a parent, I want my children to try things and to stick with them. I teach them that quitting is generally negative and they need to stick with whatever they are doing.
For example, the oldest three children have recently launched podcasts and blogs. Emery is really struggling with it. In all honesty, I knew that he probably would and that this would be a stretch for him. Unlike Brett, he has never done much work on the computer, and is completely unfamiliar with wordpress. Spelling is one of his most difficult subjects and so writing a blog (and answering comments) is very tedious as he constantly checks his spelling and grammar. And while he loves flowers and works well in his own garden, he’s having to do a lot of research, which is also a new task for him.
He often wants to quit and expresses that desire vocally. I’ve told him that quitting is not an option and he has to keep working on it and podcasting. In a way this is easier for him because he had an external pressure forcing him to continue through the pain. And the other day he told me, “You’re right, Mom. Podcasting is getting easier.” So for Emery, not quitting is leading to success.
As an adult, I also know that we don’t always start the right thing, and sometimes it is better to stop than to continue going down the wrong trail.
An example of this is my blog. I have been struggling for about a year with what direction to take my blog. I had two separate blogs – one for just the family and one for the business. I didn’t like the fact that they were separate because that doesn’t accurately depict who we are. We are Goat Milk Stuff and Goat Milk Stuff is us. So why should I have two separate blogs? But I initially had a lot of trouble integrating the two. My first blog design layout just never felt quite “right”. It felt forced and like I had to write certain things and couldn’t just write what was on my heart. But I had spent a lot of money on that design and I didn’t want to just abandon it because it felt like I was quitting.
But after a lot of thought, reflection, and prayer, I knew that it wasn’t quitting. It was changing (and hopefully improving) in order for the blog to accomplish what I wanted it to accomplish. I want the blog to be a place where I can open up myself and share what is happening in our family, in our business, and in my heart and mind. I think that “quitting” the old format was the right thing to do. I am much happier with this new design and feel a renewed sense of purpose and direction. So for me, quitting is leading to success.
As in much of life, there is no right or wrong, there is merely “depends”. Sometimes the right thing is to quit and sometimes the right thing is to hang on.
I think the bottom line is whether you are quitting for the right reasons or for the wrong reasons.
Quitting for the wrong reasons might be:
- because it is too hard
- because I am too tired
- because I just don’t feel like it anymore
Quitting for the right reasons might be:
- because my priorities or interests have changed
- because I have accomplished what I set out to do
- because I am needed elsewhere
I would really love to hear some thoughts on this subject and some of your experiences. Have you quit things that you regretted quitting? Or maybe you’re struggling right now with something that you want to quit but don’t know if you should? Or perhaps you felt like quitting, but hung in there and experienced great success? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
I like the way you categorized the reasons. There have been times that I let my kids stop doing things when I thought they had good reasons, but I agree that it’s too hard or I’m tired of it is not a good reason. I didn’t let my daughter quit playing an instrument or school band when she wanted to several times. She’s told me that she was glad that she didn’t quit when she wanted to.
Another thing I think is important is doing things that ARE hard. Kids learn perseverance and self-respect from getting through things.
What a great point! I think that we hear so often how children need to have a “positive self image”. While I agree with that belief, I completely disagree with most opinions on how to give children a positive self image. I think what you said is the best way – when children are challenged and they succeed – THAT gives them a positive self image. Not making things super easy and praising them for doing “meaningless” things. Children recognize when you are not being real.
PJ
PJ, I’m struggling with this exact same thing right now with my business. My Etsy shop – Growing Up Herbal – is just getting off the ground and I’m loving it, but I also LOVE coaching other creative business owners on my site, MeaganVisser.com.
It’s really stretching sometimes because I feel like I focus more on one than the other and so one of the two gets behind. There are times I feel that if I keep trying to do both, neither will grow as quickly or be as successful as I’d like. But, then I have to decide which is time to let go and I just can’t… at least not right now.
I love sharing my passion for natural products and herbs with people, but I find it easier to run my coaching blog. Then there’s the fact that there are two newsletters, two blogs, two sets of customers, two sets of products, and all the separate marketing for both.
Plus, I have 3 little kids and we’re just getting started with homeschooling and then there’s the house that’s never clean Ahhh! It’s a lot! You’re such an inspiration as to how you have done it all with 8 home-schooled kids and grown a successful business! I’d love to pick your brain sometime!
So I definitely hear what you’re saying. Hopefully, God will open my eyes and help me see if I’m to stick with both in a manageable way, drop one, or incorporate them both together somehow. Thanks for the great post!
I agree with you completely that you can’t do it all. Something always gets left undone around here too.
It sounds like your passion is with your coaching site, so normally you would focus on that more. But something you might want to consider is your credentials. Would building your etsy site to a certain size give you more credibility when it comes to coaching others on how to grow a successful business? I know for me, I really don’t listen to people who proclaim to be experts or coaches unless they’ve done it themselves. Because if they haven’t done it themselves, their advice (while good) is all theoretical and I’m not wasting my time or money listening to someone who hasn’t been there and done the thing that I’m trying to accomplish. It’s like somebody giving parenting advice who has never had children.
One idea is that you may want to set a goal for how big to get your etsy site and then switch your attention to coaching. Something to think about. :)The biggest thing that I do to get it all done is to specifically pick the things that I am not going to do. I tell women all the time, in order to have the kind of lives we want, we have to say no to things. It’s easy to say no to the bad things. But the trick is to also say no to the good things that don’t push you to where you want to go. That goes within your homeschooling curriculum as well. There are a million wonderful things you could study, but study just those things which still allow you to have a peaceful home life. I know a lot of people who study too many subjects and the children and the parents are constantly stressed out and overwhelmed. Not worth it, IMO.
PJ
Thanks for responding PJ and I totally hear what you’re saying! I do love talking business with other creative business owners, but I love my herbal products too. It seems as far as homeschooling and our lives go, the herbal business fit into that better. It’s something that I want my kids to learn and help with one day. That’s been my goal from the beginning.
As far as doing it myself before coaching others on how to do it, I’ve tried looking at it from both sides of the coin. GUH isn’t my first Etsy shop. I’ve had two other shops, more successful than GUH. Like I said, I just started this shop. I keep refining what I want to do, and at this point I feel like I’m where I need to be, doing something I love, something that will be a good business. This time I’ve taken the steps to make GUH an actual business whereas the other shops were more hobby shops even though I did fairly well.
You’re right though, I don’t have a ton of business experience. I mainly share what I know and what’s worked for me on my coaching site. I know a lot of business coaches who don’t have business other than their coaching. You have to use a lot of the same principles and techniques to grow a coaching business as you would a creative business. I’ve had coaching from people without actual businesses other than their coaching and gotten great advice on what to do or how to do things, but as far as credibility goes, I can see how that could be an issue. It’s just hard to say when credibility or expertise begins. It’s different for everyone.
It may pay off to just pull some of my business tips and info into my GUH site in order to share it there. I’m still trying to figure this all out, and I thank you for your willingness to help me out a bit.
Glad to help! A lot of tough choices out there. 😉
PJ