I’ve been re-reading a book that I haven’t read in a decade. It’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families* by Stephen Covey. I read something that struck me this time that I don’t remember striking me the last time I read the book.

Maybe it’s because I’m older and wiser?? Either that or it’s because I have so much more time to think now than I did a decade ago. Stephen Covey didn’t write the quote either. He stumbled upon it in a book and it meant a lot to him. So he shared it:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our happiness.

What does this quote mean? (For those of you who don’t have the time to ponder it.) Here is my paraphrase:

When something irritates/worries/angers/frustrates me, I have a certain amount of time before I yell/cry/worry/argue. In that amount of time I have a chance to choose my reaction. The decision that I make in that amount of time will influence my relationships if I replace my natural negative response with a positive, loving response.

As I’ve been thinking about this quote, the thing that struck me most forcefully is that I make the space way too small. That is, I often respond too quickly. The times when I pause to take a deep breath before reacting, are the times when I usually choose the right response. But if I ignore the space, that is the time that I let my fatigue speak.

I loved the phrase “freedom and power”. What a great phrase. We have the freedom to react the way we want to. Nobody can force me to react a certain way. And it is definitely a power to choose my reaction. What a great word. I have the power to respond in a positive way if I will grasp it.

I then turned my attention to the children and how this quote applied to them. What an amazing thing for me to teach them. To be able to take a space, a pause, a rest, before choosing their response. We have one child in particular that would see his life change if he could grasp that. If he would react in a godly way to the stimulus all around him, he would see his joy increase by leaps and bounds.

What about you? Are you making use of the space you’ve been given? Do you take hold of the power to respond in a positive way?

I hope that you do. Your growth and happiness will benefit from it.

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