Emery was a bit slow in getting breakfast this morning. And since it was a weekend he was trying to make it special by making all the French toast first, and then having everybody sit down together to eat it (except Jim who doesn’t eat eggs).

The problem, unfortunately was that he was late in getting breakfast ready. When that happens, my children turn into ravenous wolves ready to devour each piece of French toast the moment it comes off the griddle. Much snarling and snapping ensues as Emery tries to keep his wolf siblings from the French toast plate until it is completed to his satisfaction.

Jim and I were lying on the couch (playing with Indigo and nursing Jade – me not Jim) I was kinda stuck, but knew I needed to help Emery or we were headed for an instant meltdown. So I called everyone but Emery into the living room and started a round of “Head, shoulders, knees and toes” which is always very entertaining.

But breakfast still wasn’t ready, so I began a game of Simon says. Brett instantly tried to become Simon, to which Fletcher rebelled. So I became Simon. After a while, I got Fletcher out, so we decided he could be Simon. Fletcher immediately begins:

“Simon says, ‘Hit yourself on the head hard.’ Simon says, ‘Keep hitting yourself on the head hard.’ Simon says, ‘Pull your nose.’ Simon says, ‘Punch yourself in the stomach.’”

By this point, Jim and I are in absolute hysterics. We’re in the living room, watching our lovely children hit themselves on the head (hard!), pull their noses, and punch themselves in the stomach. And they were having fun doing it! The children couldn’t understand why we were laughing so hard.

As a friend of ours later commented, “I’ve been playing Simon Says for years, but I’ve never played it like that.” Leave it to Fletcher!

I think the funniest part was that Fletcher didn’t even know he was doing anything out of the ordinary.

Jim and I have been having a lot of fun with it – out of earshot of the children, of course. We’ve nicknamed it Simon’s School of Self Abuse. It goes like this: “Simon says, ‘Pull all your hair out one strand at a time.’ Simon says, ‘Rip your toe nails off.'” That sort of thing.

We’ve been extremely careful that Fletcher in particular doesn’t hear us. We don’t want to give him any ideas!