Ever have those moments where you think you’re talking to someone, only to turn around and discover that you are the only person in the room? I’ve had a few of those lately. It’s making me wonder whether I’m losing my sanity, or just losing my hearing.
But it got me thinking…
It’s not often that I’m alone. Let’s be honest here. With 10 people in our house and a business on the property, there isn’t much opportunity to be alone. Maybe I have some alone time in the bathroom – maybe. But most of the time, somebody (usually Indigo or Jade) is right there on the other side of the door. Which means that even though I have some privacy, I’m not alone.
Right now, I’m alone at the computer. But the children are playing ball outside (right outside the window I’m at). That means I can hear not just every word they are saying, but I can also hear every time the ball hits the side of the house. And since it just hit the window twice, I had to get up to tell them to stop throwing the ball at the window.
So, does that really count as being alone? I don’t think so.
Sometimes (maybe once every other month), I will run some errands by myself. But even though I’m without my children, I’m surrounded by other people. Still not alone.
Occassionally I will go out to the barn by myself and not tell anyone where I’m going. I even leave my phone behind so they can’t locate me. I love time just hanging out with the goats without having to do chores. Just standing around scratching heads. But even then, I know it’s just a matter of time before somebody locates me.
I guess I really can’t remember the last time I was truly alone for an extended period of time. I think it was before Brett was born. I really do. Back then it was just Jim and I living in Virginia and occasionally we would have different schedules.
When I was a teenager, I would often drive to the ocean in the evening or the winter to be alone. Sitting on the shore, staring at the waves, there was nobody around.
But now? Well, now I’m in Indiana. That’s quite a drive to the ocean.
Since I’ve established that I’m never alone for long, the question becomes, do I want to be alone?
I admit, I don’t know. Being alone can be, well… lonely.
And I like spending time with my children (most of the time). And I like spending time with my husband. And I like spending time with my friends and my customers.
But I also think that occassional alone time can be healthy and can strengthen your relationship with God.
So, I’m going to have to think about this one. Do I want to put in the effort it would take to get some alone time? I mean real alone time. The kind of alone time where I’m not waiting for interruptions? I’m not sure. That would take a lot of effort.
I must admit, I don’t think I do. I’m in a season of life where I’m surrounded by my children. That is a huge blessing. And before I know it, the children will be all grown up and out of the house and I’ll have many more opportunities for alone time.
And thinking about it for this blog post, I’ve come to realize that I don’t crave alone time. I don’t find it missing from my life and I don’t think it’s something that I need at this stage. The only alone time that I crave is time for our family to be alone together without pressure from the outside world.
But I’ll let you know if I change my mind.
What about you? Do you ever get real alone time? If so, what do you do with it? If not, do you miss it?
For me it is less about alone time and more about periods of peace and quiet. Finding time to just be still.
I agree. I believe “quiet time” is very important. I want the children to learn to not have to constantly be entertained, but to know how to entertain themselves. Of course, we all LOVE to read, so that is mostly how we spend our quiet time around here. PJ
PJ – “Alone” ended for me 21 years ago when Clay was born – yeah I do errands alone at times but even then I’m thinking about what the kids need or things for the family or Don. On weekends when the kids are away and the house is empty – I’m lonely. I miss them, even the arguments. Mine are growing up so fast I want to enjoy every possible moment with them while we have it.
Yep! I have a hard time focusing on just me. I like to read, so I do a lot of that, but even then my mind is half focused on the family. PJ
this blog couldn’t be at a better time, I went out today to a few stores as yesterday was my hubby and i’s 13th wedding anniversary and he shocked me with a giftcard(since we said no gifts,that the new house was a gift enough) . I realized I don’t mind doing errands alone,,no dragging the kids in and out, but I couldn’t hardly focus on shopping for myself…I kept wanting to get the kids something or my hubby..and he said no,just something for you!ha! I only last 2 hours before I had a migraine and back home I went. it made me tell my hubby once I returned that I don’t like going shopping without him or the kids. I felt odd in target by myself,like something was missing. I enjoy being with my family,and I too feel God has me in a season of focus on family,so im ok with less me time and more fam time.that said god time should be first.great blog! now date night thats couple time, and thats important, and me and mine need more of those!ha!
I know exactly what you mean! Jim and I had a trip to San Francisco (just the two of us) for the business. But we got to stay for 3 extra days to just enjoy the area. It was so strange without the children. And I kept finding myself saying, “I wish the children were here so we could show them….”
And yep – we do date nights too. Love keeping our marriage strong. Jim is my best friend and I don’t ever want that to change! PJ
I, too, sometimes crave “alone” time, but it can also be lonely. I am only separated from my family twice a year when I have to travel to Baltimore for my work and I *terribly* miss my family during that time! 🙁
I like my “quiet time” when everyone is in the house, but I can do my thing uninterrupted. 🙂
PJ
Since I have my son about 1.5 years ago, the only alone time I have would be when he sleep. But then u do cleaning and others stuff. I miss it sometimes but then I wouldn’t have all these wonderful moments with my son.
You’ll have more time to yourself as he grows, as well. 🙂 PJ
I have found that after all my years of working with the public, I really do enjoy silence and being alone, well the dog is here and when my hubby gets home from work we are all together, but the alone time is something everyone needs
I’m glad you get what you need! PJ
just recently i have been getting alone time while my boys are at school, i seem to gets lots done!!
I believe it! When the children are occupied doing other things, I can be super productive! PJ
I know how you fell. I have 6 children. Two sets of boy girl twins and then a son and a daughter. My J twins are my sit out side the bathroom babies. Lol. But I wouldn’t change the blessings that God has giving me for anything. 🙂
Exactly!! I’ll miss them when they stop. Weird as that seems. PJ
I love being alone while my (almost) 11 yr old twins are in school. My children are challenging since they’re both on the autism spectrum. I need the time to recharge myself so I can be ready for them when they get home. Plus, it’s so much easier to clean the house when you don’t have people coming behind you messing things up 🙂
I’m glad you’re able to get it! I can’t imagine cleaning without other people behind me. LOL PJ