Time to Empty the Bookshelves

We currently own 26 book shelves – 14 of them are filled with books, 10 are filled with clothes, and 2 are filled with movies and music. Even with 26, they are still overflowing. So, it was time to either acquire more bookshelves, or reduce what was on those shelves. As much as I wanted to do the former, I opted for the latter.

After much work, I came up with 6 full shelves of stuff to eBay. Oh my! Trying to fit that into my schedule has not been fun. But eBay is running a sale right now that ends December 12th – so I set a goal to finish by then.

Almost all of the stuff I listed on eBay were books. But there was one special item that Jim brought home that needed to disappear from the homestead. It was this:

Here is the eBay description I listed for it:

Spiderman Ninja Knife

My husband is the greatest guy in the world. He’s forever bringing home lots of things for me. Some things I specifically ask for. Some things he just knows I need. But, when he brought home this spiderman ninja knife, I just had to laugh at him.

“What am I supposed to do with a spiderman ninja knife?” I asked him. His immediate reply was, “Open the mail?” Ok, I had to laugh at him again.

Let’s take a closer look at this thing. It is a heavy (ceramic? plaster?) hand, dressed in a spiderman glove. The wrist is coming out of what looks to be rocks, with 3 big spiders on it. In the hand is what my husband describes as a ninja knife. The knife has a cover on it. The knife and cover can be removed from Spidey’s hand.

But now what? What am I supposed to do with a 7” sharp stainless steel blade?

I could slice some meat for dinner with it. But to be honest, spiderman doesn’t exactly go with my kitchen décor. And the knife doesn’t exactly fit in my knife block – after all, it was made to fit in Spiderman’s hand!

And let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that I decided to keep the spiderman ninja knife as a conversation piece. I can just picture the conversations it would start. In case you didn’t know, I have 8 children, and five of them are boys. I can picture tons of conversations like this:

Mrs. Jones, the neighbor: “Well, PJ. I certainly enjoyed the view out of my back window today.”

Me: “Uh, oh! Now what did you see.”

Mrs. Jones: “Oh nothing much. But Emery sure can run fast.”

Me: “Dare I ask why was he running?”

Mrs. Jones: “Well, it appeared that Fletcher was chasing him brandishing a spiderman ninja knife and threatening to slash his throat.”

Me: “Oh, yes, I think they were playing pirates this morning.”

Or another conversation:

Knock. Knock.

Me: “Hello, Mr. Electric meter man. Can I help you?”

Mr. Electric Meter Man: “Your children have threatened to cut my arms off if I don’t report that you used only 2 kilowatts last month. You do know that is fraud, right?”

Me: “Ummm, yes, sorry about that. We’ve been trying to figure out different ways to save electricity. I guess they were tired of turning off the lights. But you do know they wouldn’t hurt you.”

Mr. Electric Meter Man: “I don’t know, that Spiderman Ninja Knife looked pretty convincing.”

Me: “Well, thank you for not suing us for threatening you with bodily injury.”

So you see, I simply cannot keep this thing. It is going to lead to mayhem and loss of blood if it is allowed to stay. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of my husband in bringing me this lovely gift. But I really think it is better off in another home. Preferably one without lots of blood thirsty boys.

So, do you think I’ll be able to get rid of it?