A few months ago, we had some teenage girls staying with us for a week. One evening, I went up and talked with the girls in Brett’s room for several hours. We had a great conversation and a great time. One of the girls said to me, “I wish you could come back to where we live and talk to our group. We couldn’t connect with the last people who talked to us.”
That comment got me thinking. I remember playing with magnets as a young child and being amazed that sometimes the ends would attract each other and sometimes the ends would repel each other. And I started wondering – do I attract other people? or do I repel them? Do people generally think I’m cool? fun? intelligent? loving? Am I somebody that people want to spend time with and maybe even imitate? Am I attractive?
I hope so.
And although I want to be attractive to other people, what I most want to be is attractive to my children. So I’ve been asking myself this question: Do my children want to be just like me when they grow up?
I hope so.
I want them to think that I work hard, but know how to relax.
I want them to think that I deal with serious issues, but know how to be spontaneous.
I want them to think that I make good financial decisions, but am not stingy.
I want them to think that I discipline them, but I know how to do it in love.
Even though there are times when I point out the children’s errors, I want my children to know that I am here to encourage them. I love them, faults and all.
Even though there are times when I make them work hard, I want my children to know that I also want us to play together just as hard. Life is a balance between work and play.
What about you? Are you attractive to your children?
I hope the answer is yes. But if not, it’s not too late to change and build your relationship with them. Start saying, “No” to extra commitments and spend extra time just having fun with your children. Whether they’re toddlers, children, teenagers, or young adults, make sure that you are giving them the positive attention they need. And then give them a little more.
And by the way, if you’re married, do this for your spouse as well.
We were recently at the scene of a fatal accident. It has made me rethink a lot of things. I don’t want to have any regrets when it comes to my relationships with my family. My loved ones are what is most important to me. I’m going to do whatever it takes to be attractive to them.
For me, that means fewer scheduled events on the calendar. What does it mean for you?