I think most of us want to be successful at what we do. Whether it’s being an amazing wife or a wonderful mother or a successful professional, we don’t just want to be mediocre. We want to be the best. And for those of us who are competitive, not just the best we can be, but the very best.
That’s a worthy goal. The problem is when we want to be the best at everything. And if you try to be the best at everything, you’re going to fail. I’m sorry, but it’s true. You can’t be the best at everything.
So decide what you’re content to NOT be amazing at.
For me, I’m NOT an Amazing Friend. I’m a good friend, but I’m not an Amazing Friend. My family and my business take up so much of my time that I’ve found that I can’t devote as much time to my friendships as I did when I was younger. So I’ve made that decision. Now I want you to understand that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad friend. I’m just merely a good friend.
For example, one of my friends still doesn’t have her life back together after the tornado. Two and a half months later and she’s still living under tarps and plywood. She’s still missing windows and doors and siding and pieces of her foundation. So I’m taking her out to lunch tomorrow. I’m a good friend. If I were an Amazing Friend, I would have been taking her out once a week this entire time. But I didn’t think of it til several days ago.
Another example is I’m not an Amazing Homemaker. I don’t sew outfits for my children and I don’t decorate my home. And I don’t keep it spotless all the time. But I am a good homemaker. I cook healthy meals, and I make sure the children have clothes to wear and basic furniture to sit on: good, not amazing.
One of the areas I need to improve on is being an Amazing Wife. Because I want to be an Amazing Wife, but I don’t think I am. I think I’m a good wife, but I don’t want to be a good wife. I want to be an Amazing Wife. I want to put Jim first and not somewhere in the middle. It’s a huge blessing having him home all day and working together with him, but in many respects, I think it’s made me a worse wife.
When he was gone all day, I’d think about him and what special things I could do for him when he came home. But now he’s always here, so I don’t think like that anymore. But I should and I need to change that because I want to be an Amazing Wife.
And I want to be an Amazing Mom. Mom is such a huge term and encompasses so much. I’m defining the role of Mom as all of those things I can’t (or won’t ) hire somebody else to do. So it rules out things like shopping and cooking and cleaning and is all about my personal relationship with my children.
I’m not sure where I fall on the scale of Amazing Mom. So many people outside of our family tell me that I’m an Amazing Mom, but I want my children to think that I’m an Amazing Mom. The difficulty with that of course is that to be an Amazing Mom you have to do what is best for your children not necessarily what is popular. But I want them to know that while I’m not perfect, I’ve done everything that I can to be the best mom that I can be to them.
And I want to be an Amazing Business Owner. I really enjoy owning and running Goat Milk Stuff. I love working with our customers and helping them. And I truly believe that Goat Milk Stuff is going to help turn my children into the most Amazing Individuals.
So those are the three things I want to be amazing at – Wife, Mom, Business Owner.
I’m content to be a good friend, homemaker, Christian, helper, daughter, sister, aunt, citizen, cook, cleaner, gardener, role model, budgeter, photographer, communicator, historian, shopper, leader, boss, playmate, volunteer, and all the other roles I can’t think of right now, but that I regularly fill.
I’ve made that decision to limit myself and not try to be amazing at everything. I also make sure that I talk about these decisions with my children (particularly my older children). My children are always watching me and I want to model to them that I can’t do everything perfectly. Nor do I try. I hope that it helps them to prioritize what is important in their own lives.
What about you? What are you content to be good at and where do you seek to be amazing?
I enjoyed your post and related to it a lot. Except, being a perfectionist, I think I SHOULD be amazing at everything…but I know I’m not. In fact I struggle to recognize often that I’m “good enough” at many tasks. What I know and have known for the past 27 years is that I’m an amazing mom. It is the role that I believe is THE most significant role I could be blessed with. I believe the phrase “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” Moms have the amazing responsibility to raise the leaders of both today and the future. I believe no other role is more significant or fulfilling. I loved being a mom while my daughter was young and love being her friend, fan and sounding board now she’s a mom herself. And let me tell you, being a grandma is just as amazing — just in a more carefree way. I also want to be an amazing employee and worker. I’m not always the most talented, smartest or most creative, but I always try to be the hardest and most persistent worker on the team so we can always get the project completed and done well.
Hi Sherry,
I loved your comment about being an amazing employee and worker. You are so right – it is not always about being the most gifted – a hard worker can so often surpass a lazy gifted person.
I used to be a perfectionist – then I had 8 kids. That ended that really quickly. LOL
PJ
I’d like to be an amazing Christian, friend (including to my husband and adult children), and encourager. Although I think the third is really my “calling” as a believer. I’d like to be a better advocate for autism, but life takes too much concentration with my own aspie!
By the way, you’re still my best friend even if you don’t think you are amazing at it! You are just exactly what I need.
Kim – well I know you definitely encourage me regularly. I think that’s a full time job for you sometimes. LOL And thanks, that makes me feel much better!
PJ