Now that we have your binder ready, we’re going to start by focusing on the lists that require input from your family.
One of the biggest things we can do to decrease stress during the holidays is to do less.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Do less.
If stringing lights on your house every year doesn’t bring you joy, why are you doing it? If making a huge ham with all of the sides makes your heart sink every time you remember that it’s something you “have to do”, why are you doing it?
Take your important traditions sheet of paper and ask your family. What’s really important to them? What’s important to you? And more importantly, pay attention to the things that don’t get written down. The things that no one mentions, the things that don’t mean everything to their holiday joy.
Personally, we stopped stringing lights on our house, along with several other things. And it’s okay to stop doing things, because what your family wants most is for you to enjoy the season with them, so you don’t have to feel guilty. Think about what is worth investing your time in, because you won’t get that time back, and invest it in the memories that you want to have with your loved ones.
So pull out that Important Traditions list and start writing things down. You don’t have to write down everything they say; if your son’s idea of something important is spreading peanut butter on the couches, you can skip that one. Similarly, if there’s something they think is important to them, but you know they won’t remember it and it will only add more stress for you, it’s okay to prioritize your time and energy and minimize your list. While your family’s experience and enjoyment of the holidays is important, it’s also important for you to retain your sanity.
Remember, we want you to focus on how to invest your holiday time and money wisely to maximize your enjoyment and minimize the stress.
While you’re working on this list, you can also write down any traditions that you hope to start with your family in the next coming months. Remember that you can come back to this over the next few weeks if you forget something, so don’t stress about this.
Next, pull out the Holiday Parties list and work with your family to decide if you’re going to be hosting any holiday parties this year. If you are, pull out your calendar and choose a date and time, and a list of people to invite. These lists can be very generic, while specific. For example – “Phil’s extended family” or “Cross country team” or “church family” or “Landon’s classmates”. You don’t have to put every single name on there, but you do need to know who you’re planning on inviting.
Next, discuss with your family what dates will work best for you to celebrate the holidays with other people. Does Grandma always do her Christmas on Christmas Eve? Does Memaw insist on celebrating on the Sunday closest to Christmas? Take a look at your calendar, put together your availability, and send it to those you celebrate with. Decide when you will celebrate the holidays in your own home, and write them down on your Holiday Schedules sheet.
And while your family is all there, don’t forget to get the children to put together their wishlists for the holiday season, so that you can later send them to the people who have asked for them. You don’t need to send them yet! Get them started, since inevitably something will need to be added or deleted, and get those Wish Lists in your binder.
That’s all for today, so great job! Getting it all down on paper can make it seem like either too much or too little. If it feels like too much, maybe you should pare down a little more? Looking at your list should make you feel calmer about knowing what exactly is important and needs to be done. If it feels like too little, don’t worry. You can always add things later, but often that holiday magic is accomplished with the little things.
As always, send us an email or comment in the Facebook group if you have any questions!
PJ and Brett